Monday, September 12, 2011

Doris and Rock and Me! (And With Respectful Admiration for "Augie")

An editor recently asked me for "your first literary memory." After a lot of pondering I realized it would have to be this incident.

It was a sweet-smelling, balmy summer evening in a little country town, many years ago. My sister and I, sixteen and seventeen (we were "Irish twins") were sitting in the tiny Prairie du Sac movie theater. We were watching the romantic comedy LOVER COME BACK, with Doris Day and Rock Hudson.

Because we were innocent to the point of mental disability, we saw nothing bizarre in the fortyish Doris's frantic attempts to preserve her virginity against the lecherous assaults of leering playboy Hudson. She fled his slobbering pursuit in her high heels, both flirting with him and flouncing away from him with such manic energy that she almost bounced right off the screen. She scolded sex-crazed Hudson for his base desires, shaking her finger at him and telling him off, an ash-blond well-built angel in tight-fitting suits.

My sister and I were fascinated, rooting for Doris and filing away her strategies for taming bestial, drooling, skirt-chasing Hudson--who, as became obvious later, was a much better actor than anyone gave him credit for.

The movie was well-started when a huge bulbous man entered and began fumbling his way down the dark aisle, looking for seats. He was holding the hands of two small fair-haired children. Everyone in the theater knew little Wally and April; and everyone knew their father, Augie. August Derleth was a Sauk County native son, and a brilliant regional writer. He also had the biggest girth, and the largest and most exuberant and most fearless personality in the state.

On the screen, at that very moment, Doris Day was kittenishly shaking her blond French Twist and wiggling her derriere as she showered Hudson with maidenly reproaches. Derleth paused in the aisle, looked at the screen, listened to the dialogue for a minute, snorted, and then laid down the most tremendous, awe-inspiring, roof-lifting fart ever heard.

18 comments:

  1. Hahahaha... surely that wasn't his opinion of the movie?

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  2. Wow! Have to rent that one. I saw Glass bottom boat and liked it.

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  3. A hilarious story. Unlike the old 'two thumbs up movie review, I guess Augie gave the film a 'One fart out'.

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  4. Also made you blog of the day.

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  5. Ms. A - Yes, I think that was his critical opinion! :^)

    Copyboy--Hey wait, let's make that PRINCE Copyboy! Thanks so much for making my blog your Blog of the Day. I'm purring!

    Mythopolis - Yes, Augie improved on Siskel and Ebert for brevity. Seems to have been a brave character and not much concerned with the niceties!

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  6. Oh my, what a thunderous moment to have frozen in time - haaaaaaaaaaaaaa, too, too funny! Congratulations dearest lady upon your well-deserved Post of the Day, I certainly can't think of a post more deserving..!

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  7. sweet Shrinky-- yes, talk about a blast from the past! :^) And as for the Post of the Day--I'm incredulous, but I love it.

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  8. Professor Chaos--not to me it wasn't, but I guess it didn't suit Derleth's tastes!

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  9. What a fantastic story! I'd remember that one also. Forever! I didn't see it coming.
    Too funny Margaret!

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  10. Of course this thought couldn't hit me while I was writing. I'm pretty darn sure I've either heard of this guy or read something (or some things) written by him. Did he do co-writing or collaborations with somebody else? I probably don't know what I'm talking about...

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  11. Pat Tillett--Derleth was much-loved in his part of the country (Mid-West) but as a regional writer might not be known much elsewhere. He wrote over 100 books, often about barely-disguised Sauk County characters. A typical one was PLACE OF THE HAWK.

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  12. rental mobil jakarta - thanks for visiting the blog, and for your kind comment.

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  13. You spin such a lively tale, Margaret. I love how you describe people on and off the screen. This snippet's hilarious. I love this phrase too: "innocent to the point of mental disability."

    Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog.
    I appreciate you.
    xoRobyn

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  14. Robyn -- I appreciate you too. I appreciate your moxie and humor, decency and panache. Quite a winning combo, kiddo!

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  15. This is a great one. August Derleth was my mom's first writing teacher. She's 96, still writing and lives on the Wisconsin River just below Sauk Prairie. I just sent her this post.
    Love the blog.

    Kristin from the old movie group

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  16. Kristin-- Sorry to be answering your Comment so many months later! Somehow I missed it. I love to think of your mother, still writing, still remembering rambunctious (and madly prolific!) Augie. Thank you for your kind words about my post.

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